I Can’t Write.

Tomorrow, I have a meeting with a man who wants me to ghost write a book for him.  He has the outline complete, and he has chosen me, out of everyone, to write this book.  I am thoroughly honored, seeing as I am still a college student and he is a successful businessman with innumerable resources at his fingertips.  Plus, this is exactly the type of experience I have been looking for.  I have wanted to write a book for so long, but I can never bring my ideas to fruition.  I think part of me is scared that once I start writing, I will realize that I’m not cut out to be a creative writer, and my entire life’s goal will go out the window.  So clearly it makes sense to just not even try and save myself the disappointment, right?

I realize that I write all the time for this blog, but it’s really not the same.  I’m not creating characters and story lines and dialogue here.  I’m just writing about my life.  I don’t worry about it sounding perfect or making sense, because I don’t feel like writing on this blog is something I should stress about.  This is an escape for me, and this is where I can talk about whatever I want. And if that means I don’t have thousands of followers and three hundred views a day, so be it.  But the last thing I want is to begin writing this book, only to realize that I’m not as good of a writer as I thought.  I have paid thousands of dollars to become a writer one day (thanks to college) without ever having the chance to actually test out the waters in the writing field.  What if it turns out that I’m the shittiest writer who has ever set a pen to paper, and everyone was just humoring me this whole time?  What do I do with an English degree then, save for saying screw it and becoming a manager at McDonalds?  Not that there’s anything wrong with McDonalds, but I didn’t go to college for three years to to end up flipping burgers for the rest of my life.  Okay, sorry, I’m rambling.

I guess I’ll have to see how it goes.  I have faith in myself that I can write a good novel.  Maybe not a best seller, but an entertaining read at the very least.  I don’t even know the outline or genre of the book yet, so I have no idea why I’m stressing so much.  Chances are, I will be able to dedicate this summer to completing a well-written piece of work that I can be proud of.  It’s just the what if that’s nerve-wracking.

How do you feel about starting a new project or something you’ve never done before?

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4 thoughts on “I Can’t Write.

  1. Kelsey King says:

    I know how you feel, I’ve kept my blog private for years afraid of what others would think (that I write tired bad poetry) BUT if you don’t take the leap now, you’ll regret the opportunity.

    • That’s true. Regret is much worse than failure, in my opinion.
      By the way. Your poetry? Not tired or bad. I don’t believe there’s such a thing as a bad poem. If it comes out of a person’s head, it’s amazing. There’s nothing more impressive than speaking your mind, whether it be in conversation or through writing.

  2. I think you’ll be fine. I can understand that starting a book or new project is intimidating. In your English classes, you’ve learned about character development, plot development and attention-grabbing devices such as starting the book with a great first sentence or paragraph that intrigues readers and makes them want to continue reading.

    Go for it! And remember that everyone’s going to have a different opinion on your book and the trick is sorting out the good opinions from the bad. J.K. Rowling of the Harry Potter series had her work rejected by 12 different publishing houses, despite the quality of her work. Guess those 12 publishing houses are regretting it now, don’t you think?

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