Category Archives: Humor

Top Ten Perks of Unemployment

10. You finally have enough time to color-coordinate your cooking utensils drawer.  Who knew there were so many shades of silver?

9. You now save a ton of money on your heating bill, since you’ve found the time to knit afghans/sweaters/scarves for the whole family.

8. When your significant other so kindly asks you to “go make me a sandwich woman”, instead of yelling right back, you now reply, “Ham, turkey or tuna salad?  I made all three this afternoon.”

7. Your home is filled with fabulous arts and crafts, due to the abundance of time you now spend on Pinterest.

6. You had time to write this entire post with no interruptions.

5. Your children’s lunches now resemble a feast fit for the Queen of England, complete with hors d’oeuvres and a dessert tray.

4. You’ve consider writing a book about your homemaking skills.

3. Your friends and family tend to take pity on your financial situation and offer to pay for lunches, shopping, and gas. (Well, in my case they do, anyway.)

2. Your coupon-clipping skills have now surpassed the likes of Extreme Couponers.

1. Sleeping until noon is no longer a luxury-it’s a way of life.

 

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Six Things I Love Sunday: April 1st

This week, I wanted to dedicate my post to books.  I’ve always been an avid reader, and unfortunately, since I started college a few years ago my love for reading novels has had to take a backseat to reading textbooks.  Recently, I’ve started reading for pleasure again (thanks for the Nook, Mom!), so I thought I should share a few of my favorite books with you guys.

1. The Hunger Games

Why? It wouldn’t be a good book list if I didn’t start out with this one.  I’m pretty sure everyone and their mother has read this book and seen the movie at this point.  I haven’t seen the movie yet, since unfortunately my social anxiety has decided to kick into full force recently, but I’ve heard that it’s amazing.  I’m currently on the third book in the trilogy, but my friend from Madison asked to borrow it, so I won’t be finishing it until I see him next, which could be a couple months from now.

2. Room

Why? This book is sheer genius.  It’s told from the perspective of a small boy, who lives with his mother in a shed that was remodeled by her abductor.  The mother has created this life for him, and he never truly understands the dynamics of the situation, even when his mother decides it’s time to escape.  This book’s content can be dark and a little disturbing at times, but overall, it inspires and makes you see the world through a new light.

3. Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children

Why? This is one of the stranger books I’ve read.  Ransom Riggs incorporates random photographs he found at flea markets into the story, creating a truly strange and captivating read.  This story follows a teenage boy as he collects clues left by his grandfather and eventually stumbles upon an old Welsh orphanage, also known as Miss Peregrine’s home.  If you are looking for a unique read, I would seriously recommend this one.

4. The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

Why? There is no other way to describe this book than a thriller.  Once again, I haven’t seen the movie due to my annoyingly crippling anxiety, but I’m considering watching the Swedish rendition on Netflix while I wait.  Although the first portion of this book is really hard to get into (it took me nearly two weeks to get through the first 100 pages), it is well worth it in the end.  Lisbeth Salander is a true heroine, albeit a little twisted.  Surprisingly, you can actually relate to her unconventional way of living, and once the book gets going, it’s impossible to put it down.  I’m about halfway through its sequel, The Girl Who Played With Fire, and so far I am not disappointed.

5. Look Me in the Eye

Why? Probably due to my love for psychology (it is my minor, after all!), I love all things relating to personality disorders and mental disabilities. They’ve always intrigued me, for some strange reason, so much so that for awhile, my idea of a dream job was working in a mental hospital.  So when I came across this book, I couldn’t put it down.  Look Me in the Eye chronicles the life of John Elder Robison as a person living with Asperger’s Syndrome.  I also read Running With Scissors, which was actually written by Robison’s brother, Augusten Burroughs.  Both books were simply amazing and inspiring.

 

6. I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell

Why?  If you are easily offended, this book is definitely not for you.  Crude and crass, Tucker Max chronicles his life as a womanizing man who is more often drunk than sober.  This book is essentially a collection of short stories, and it never fails to make you laugh.  I remember reading this book in high school with my boyfriend at the time, laughing so hard we were crying.  Nothing like reading about other people’s problems to make you feel better about your own.

What are some of your favorite books at the moment?

Holly, not Hollie

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Five Things That are Currently Driving Me Crazy

1. Misuse of the word “literally”

This has long been a pet peeve of mine.  People don’t seem to understand that if you say something “literally” happened, it has to actually be plausible.  To quote a Facebook post I saw earlier, “Dude this video literally blew my mind!”  I’m sorry, but no.  If that music video “literally” blew your mind, you would be laying dead on your laptop with your head exploded everywhere.  Just no.

 

2. Unique baby names

Where I’m from, apparently the thing to do immediately after (or, in some cases, before) graduating high school is to get knocked up and married.  With that said, every teenaged mother that I know feels the need to give their kids a “unique” name.  Last time I checked, naming your child “Nevaeh” (“heaven” spelled backwards), or, even better, “Nahveyah” (which kind of defeats the purpose) isn’t unique.  At the rate my town is going, half the kids in the first grade class of 2015 will have this name.

 

3. Preteens in general

Alright, maybe I’m just spiteful towards children in general, or maybe I do have a point here, but kids these days are bad.  I recently heard about four kids at a middle school near my town getting caught in the bathroom having sex and sucking each others blood.  Yep, you read that right.  I’m not sure where the fun in drinking someone else’s blood is, but maybe I’m missing something since it seems to be all the rage these days with the youngsters.  These kids need to be stopped.

 

4. Sweaty boyfriends

Okay, this one is a little biased, since I have no idea if anyone else deals with this.  My boyfriend and I live together and (shocker!) we share the same bed.  For some reason, my beau sweats like crazy in his sleep.  Don’t get me wrong, I love cuddling as much as the next person, but I don’t enjoy feeling like I just got out of a pool when he rolls over in the middle of the night.  Please tell me I’m not the only one here.

 

5. The word “supper”

This is probably the stupidest pet peeve, but I hate that word.  I know all of you have specific words that you don’t like (or maybe it’s just me), but I hate this word.  It’s dinner, not supper.  Plus, I don’t like the way it sounds.  Maybe it’s just an English major thing.

 

What’s bothering you right now? Go on, vent!

Holly, not Hollie

 

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You Know You’re a Blogger When…

10. Your “most viewed” site on Google Chrome is wordpress.com.

9. You have downloaded the WordPress app on your Android/iPhone/tablet to keep up on every single comment/like/view on your page.

8. You now take pictures of every food you make, but only if it’s from scratch.

7. You’ve taken up the art of photography just so your food pictures looks better.

6. You get upset whenever you log in (at least once an hour) and that little yellow button isn’t lit up.

5. You hope something extraordinarily interesting happens to you during the day so you can blog about it later.

4. When something interesting doesn’t happen to you, you spin your day so it sounds interesting, then blog about it.

3. You formulated this entire post in your head at 4 am last night (please blame my lack of sleep if you are hating this post…because I would be just crushed if I was considered a bad blogger).

2. Comments and likes have become the highlight of your day.

1. You dream about being Freshly Pressed, and are severely disappointed/confused when you wake up and don’t have ten thousand new views on your page (yep, this actually happened to me).

What would be in your top 10?

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Six Things I Love Sunday: TV Edition

This week, I am dedicating my weekly post to TV shows.  I have a Netflix account, and lately I’ve been enjoying just a little bit too much time laying in bed and catching up on shows.  Since I’m finally on spring break this week and I won’t be doing much other than relaxing and watching said shows, I thought I’d give you guys a little taste of my favorites.

1. Downton Abbey

Set in the early 1900s in the United Kingdom, Downton Abbey follows the comings and goings of the Crawleys (British royalty) and their help.  If I had been told a year ago that I would be feverishly watching a PBS series, I wouldn’t have believed it.  But now, after watching the first two seasons in a matter of weeks, I am so upset to learn that I will have to wait until 2013 to watch the third season.  Ugh.  I don’t know how I will make it.

2. Modern Family

I don’t think I have ever seen a show funnier than this one.  Sofia Vergara and Eric Stonestreet could keep me laughing for hours.  If you haven’t seen this show, you need to watch it now.

3. Revenge

Okay.  I guess I shouldn’t have necessarily put this show in my “Six Things I Love” post, but I don’t have a “Six Guilty Pleasures” list yet.  That expression you see on Emily VanCamp’s face?  Yeah, that’s pretty much the only face she’s capable of making.  Her consistently-stoic appearance aside, however, and this show has completely sucked me in.  There’s just something so satisfying about watching the lives of people far, far wealthier than you disintegrate into complete shambles, and Revenge delivers a lot of it.

 

4. The Bachelor

Lawl.

Once again, it’s too bad I don’t have a guilty pleasure list, because this would definitely be number one.  For those of you who watched The Bachelor this season, were you not ridiculously pissed when Ben chose Courtney?  I mean, we all knew it was gonna happen, but that doesn’t make it any better.  And, if there’s no one reading this who secretly (or not so secretly, in my case) likes The Bachelor(ette), then I’m sorry that I wasted your time with this section of the post. (But I know you guys are out there.  Don’t lie.)

 

5.  Parenthood

I really love this show, and I can’t quite put my finger on why.  It could be the fact that Erika Christensen’s character is so easy to relate to, or that I’m just a sucker for family dramas.  Who knows.  What I do know is that I’m going to be really upset if this show doesn’t get picked up for a fourth season.

 

6. Property Brothers

Let me just get this out there: I’m obsessed with HGTV.  I can honestly say that the only show I won’t watch on that channel is Holmes Inspection (Mike Holmes is just an annoying tool).  This show is easily my favorite though.  It doesn’t get much better than watching two hot men renovate a house, unless, of course, it was my house they were renovating.

What are some of your favorite TV shows at the moment?

Holly, not Hollie

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